Novak (novak) wrote,
Novak
novak

Personal: I Am Not Dead

How should I say this? Delicately? I'm not sure how. Firmly? To be sure. Boldly? Why not?

I am not dead.

I'm over in my office, currently, at my posted office hours for students, and I just found out from Gale, the woman who runs the Department of Theology, that someone who was very upset had called the Graduate School having heard that I had died. The Graduate School, not being able to confirm this, called Gale, and Gale checked in with me, and I performed all the conversational checks necessary to confirm that I was actually talking with her and not having a Sixth Sense-kind of experience.

Buy Life and Other ImpossibilitiesThus I repeat: I am not dead.

Or I could say it with literary flair, quoting Twain: "Rumours of my death have been greatly exaggerated."

If I were dead, however, it follows that my CD would become a very valuable collectors item, right? You'd want to buy lots of them as Christmas stocking-stuffers for people of taste you know, just to get them in on the opportunity, right? In fact, the thing is pretty okay on its own merits, so you might want to do that anyway. You know, just in case.
Tags: funny, personal
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