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Errantry: Novak's Journal
...Words to cast/My feelings into sculpted thoughts/To make some wisdom last
Personal: Annual Christmas Trial 
24th-Dec-2005 02:39 am
I See You!
I can join Mensa if I want to. I rocked on my doctoral exams in front of a squad of scholars who are all at the very top of their respective fields. I have mastered and contain within myself the core content of Western Civilization in all its terrible splendor. I can even (generally) match my clothes. But set me down with a pile of Christmas presents and all that is necessary for wrapping them, and you'd be better off hiring a blind epileptic who had just eaten a snowcone made of speed. After hours of struggle (once my Mum was in bed and could not witness my annual humiliation) I have once again produced a pile of misshapen lumps of colourful paper, decorated with bows and ribbons that try to cover up the odd, tumor-like projections that spoil their symmetry, or the huge and grotesque tusk marking the occasional corner of a package. Once again I writhe in the painful knowledge of just how limited and defined my talents are, and to be grateful for having even those. So in a few hours my nieces will arrive, and in their delighted preschool avarice, will gleefully set-to in tearing past my efforts for what is contained within them. But it won't happen quick enough to prevent "that look" from going across my sister's face, and someone pulling something still somehow unexpected and painfully apt out of that fountain of spontaneous Irish wit. I'm counting the minutes.

But kidding aside, folks, the best of Christmases to all of you: may peace on Earth and goodwill to men be what characterizes your houses this year, and those of all you love.

Mike
Comments 
24th-Dec-2005 03:56 pm (UTC)
a peaceful and joysome christmas to you too! (if 'joysome' isn't a word, i just made it one.)
25th-Dec-2005 08:58 am (UTC)
I like the word plenty!
24th-Dec-2005 04:54 pm (UTC)
I can sympathize -- kinda. I'm not a bad wrapper, it's just that my Mum and sister are just... wrapping black-belts.

Yenihoo, you can't be as bad as this, and apparently there's enough people for whom wrapping does not come naturally for this to exist, for future reference.

All the best for a very safe and happy Christmas.
25th-Dec-2005 09:03 am (UTC)
:-) Thanks for the references! Too funny! Peace.
24th-Dec-2005 06:40 pm (UTC)
Merry Christmas! And a good New Year *g*.
25th-Dec-2005 09:04 am (UTC)
!
25th-Dec-2005 10:32 am (UTC)
?
24th-Dec-2005 06:52 pm (UTC)
a blind epileptic who had just eaten a snowcone made of speed

That is defintitely the best visual image to come off the friendspage in quite a long time. This post made me laugh long and hard. :D So you're one of those genius types with no motor skills! I should have suspected. (I watch several of them go through the lunch line every day.)

At least, I'm sure, your nieces think you are fantastic! And your sister probably finds it endearing in that particular way that brothers hate. ;D

Merry Christmas to you, too!
25th-Dec-2005 09:05 am (UTC)
No motor skills?!
24th-Dec-2005 07:30 pm (UTC)
Merry Christmas!

...

I have mastered and contain within myself the core content of Western Civilization in all its terrible splendor.

Why aren't I you? Am so jealous!
25th-Dec-2005 09:06 am (UTC)
Poo! "If all the body were an ear...."

And I'm sure I overstated things for literary ends.... ;-)
25th-Dec-2005 05:45 am (UTC)
And a Merry Christmas to you!

25th-Dec-2005 09:07 am (UTC)
Thanks! A blessed holy day to you.
27th-Dec-2005 05:18 pm (UTC) - Mensa
Anonymous
I have been invited to join Mensa several times by my peers. But why join a org whose memebers always try to outsmart themselves. Alas, you are NOT a geek.

Really, who wants to do brain teasers all the time only to impress oneself, (the others wont be -- they'll consider it an opening volley to one-up you). Sounds liek terrible fun. Keyword, terrible.

Happy Happy
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